What exactly do you look for in a church? All Christian churches 'follow the Bible' (we won't debate that here, this isn't the board for it), but what other things make a church feel right for you?

 

I have the attention span of a gnat, so I do better in churches that are a bit more interactive, like the liturgical church I go to now (Episcopal). But I want them to be structured...I've been to churches that are more free-form like Pentecostal and I prefer more 'order' than I found there.  I prefer a mid-sized church...not so big that you can fade into the crowd but big enough to where they have different ministries or classes (singles, youth, middle-aged, elderly, etc). 

 

I love how a church I went to once had different events (like dinners and speakers) where parishoners were encouraged to bring guests...the way they were structured, the guests could get a feel for the church but would not feel pressured. It meant a lot to me that, when I got into a bad accident, the rectors and others from my current church made it a point to come visit me and even schedule someone from the church to come sit with me during the time when I was out of the hospital but would still need help doing stuff like cooking.

 

 

For me, a church is two things:  it's a place and a people.  I look for a church that preaches/teaches from the scripture.  I don't necessarily need "feel-good" messages unless it is scripture based.  I want to be taught, I want to be motivated to search the scriptures for lessons.  The church as a place - I look for church that takes the worship of God seriously.  The sanctuary should be just that, place of refuge from the outside world.   It should be a holy place, God's house, and should always be treated as such.  The church as a people - I look for a church that pays more attention to ministering and missions, than it does social networking.  If the church focus is on the next social event, then that church is not for me.  I never want to see my church sell anything.   And lastly, the church should never be a political forum, other than to pray for our elected leaders.

 

 

It is very important to me that a church is based on teachings that are from the Bible. Those teachings should be well rounded in what they provide, as God calls us to be balanced in who He created us to be.  The teachings should inspire reflection, thought, and action.

 

I believe mission work is important but love should start at home. If the church/members fail to care for its members who are struggling, in whatever manner, then they have missed the point of "church family."

 

A church should offer programs that promote positive fellowship as well as programs that allow people to learn/support/ and develop friendships within smaller groups that are more specific to that person's place in their life. Those programs should promote opportunity for people to learn and grow with each other and a church should step up to teaching and encouraging extension from its members toward each other in the church family.

 

The church should demonstrate the guidelines God calls us to by not turning a blind eye to dress and or conduct that is unbecoming to God's will. For example, if a female shows up looking like she is wearing the same thing she wore to go clubbing the night before then the church should have a comity of people who may lovingly approach her and privately show love and guidance as to the importance of making decisions that reflect an understanding of not only God's will for how we are to present ourselves as Christians but also what it means personally to be aware of the choices we are making and whether or not they are a product of our relationship with the Lord or our relationship with something else.

 

Obviously, the size of churches vary which will affect what programs may be offered. It is nice when a church is able to present music in an assortment of styles all representing praise and worship. A good church is not made up of one age group and it is nice when the whole congregation may be represented by music that expresses the diversity of its members.

 

I have been to churches that believed it was God's will for them to guide the congregation toward what political affiliation they should follow. I agree that a church should pray for authority and encourage that from its members. If a church provides any bias toward politics it should be to teach its members who God calls them to be and how they may make righteous choices in accordance to God's will. The church should not tell its members how they should vote. Correct teaching will only provide insight to God's will leaving the member with the knowledge as to how they may make wise choices on their own.

 

A church should create a means for people to feel needed in regard to works in the church, but a church should never take a position that in order to be a good person/righteous this is what you need to be doing in regard to service. The church should teach its members how they may make wise choices in regard to how they may know where they are in their life and how God is guiding them toward how He is calling them to serve at that station.

 

 

But for me, at my particular starting point, things I'd look for in a new congregation include:

 

1. Are visitors made to feel welcome? I don't mean being fawned over/"sold" in a used-car-salesperson way; but acknowledged by others, assisted when necessary, introduced to people, etc.? Is the clergyperson friendly or seem annoyed when I introduce myself? Do my partner and I feel like welcome presences, or nuisances who've just disrupted the status quo, or "enemies in the midst"?

 

2. Is worship time treated like "sacred space" -- is there a sense of reverence, of expectation, of respect for God and for worshippers' needs for spiritual sustenance? I don't want worship to be like a high school lecture, a ballgame, a Broadway musical, etc. -- I want it to be worshipful. And speaking just for me, from within the ELCA/TEC tradition -- is the Eucharist celebrated every week? That is important to me? I know that there are congregations who, for certain historical/cultural reasons, are reluctant to celebrate the Eucharist on a weekly basis, but the standard of practice in both denominations at this point in history is weekly Communion.

 

3. Is there some gravitas to the "Word" portion of the service? In liturgical traditions like ours,  in addition to the Scripture inherent in the liturgy itself we hear three thematically related Scripture lessons -- OT, Epistle and Gospel -- at each service, plus a Psalm, and the sermon will most likely be focused on the Gospel lesson with or without the other lessons as "backup."  Is the sermon reflective of the lessons/the theme of the Sunday, or is the preacher going off on some nonsequitur pet concern or issue du jour?  Do I come away from the service feeling enlightened, challenged or otherwise touched  by the Scriptural content of the service?

 

4. Is there stuff happening in this congregation? One of the things that attracted me to the particular congregation I'm a part of now -- I'm a commuter, too, so I drive 20 miles to church one-way -- was the sense that the Spirit was moving in interesting ways. And when I was involved in my lay ministry training, and spent every other month attending retreats and workshops hosted by various congregations, even during our short stays in the churches we could get a feel for whether the people there were just caretakers of the "club" or people with an outward focus -- engaged in community service and mission, in international mission, in ongoing spiritual formation for all ages, supportive of young people, hospitable to others meeting in their space, venturing into new ministries, etc. I'm a great bulletin board reader -- you can pick up a lot on churches' priorities by what winds up on the bulletin boards and information tables.

 

5. Is there some healthy diversity in the congregation and in the worship leadership, taking into consideration the community involved? Or are the laypeople assisting in worship all one gender, or all a certain age, or in multiracial communities/congregations all one ethnicity? How do disabled people seem to be treated?

 

Those would all be some major concerns for me.

 

Some things that may unnecessarily turn people off of what may actually be a great congregation:

 

Size: Sometimes small churches/mission startups are the most interesting churches in town. They may not have the programming of a large, established congregation, but they often have more energy, new ideas and "spaciousness" for new people.

 

Lack of a big Sunday School: Your mileage may vary, but I think Sunday School is often a waste of time for kids, especially these days when there's no consistency in the kids who show up from week to week. Children learn about worship in church. Children are part of the Church. If you love a particular church but it doesn't have a big, blingy Sunday School program -- go anyway. Apart from formal catechetical instruction, kids pick up most of their informal religious education from you and from the experience of going to church. (Sunday School, BTW, is a 19th century innovation whose purpose was originally to help working-class children learn to read and give them rudimentary religious and moral instruction...like a faith-based version of Head Start.)

 

College-town congos:  Even if you're a "townie," the "gownie" congregations around college campuses can be the most energized and interesting churches. And with a largely transient student membership, it's very helpful -- to students, too -- to have a stable non-student component to the congregation.

 

Demographic differences between you and the congregation: I've heard 20- and 30-somethings especially bemoaning a lack of others in their age range in congregations. I personally do not need everyone else in the congregation to look or be just like me; I enjoy interacting with people not in my own sociodemographic categories.  And these things change. When I began attending my current congregation, most of the congregants were middle-aged or elderly; we now have quite a mix of ages-and-stages. You are perhaps being called to be a pioneer for your particular demographic in a particular congregation.

 

"I don't understand what X meant in the service." Of course you don't -- you're new. Most pastors and other educators will be happy to explain stuff to you if you stick around, and if you ask. No one expects you, a visitor, to walk in with a theology degree or a perfect understanding of the worship protocol...no one.  Definitely not a reason not to come back to a particular congregation.